I’ve always heard that you shouldn’t ask a family member to be the executor of your will. What are your feelings about this? — Joyce
I don’t necessarily agree with this line of thinking. In my mind, a family member who is competent and has integrity can definitely be the executor. “Executor” just means they execute, thus the name. They’re going to execute the wishes of the will. If the family member has the business acumen and trustworthiness to execute the wishes and directives in a will, then that’s perfectly fine.
Just remember to use some common sense, too, when choosing an executor. If you have an extremely complicated estate, say 80 pieces of real estate with investments and everything, you probably don’t want your 22-year-old niece, nephew or grandchild who just graduated college in charge of things. I would advise choosing someone with a little more life experience, and maybe some success in the real world.
The people who say family shouldn’t do this are the same ones who say you shouldn’t have family in your business. You can have family in both. You just have to have good boundaries, clear roles, and honest, mature people. Make sure you give clear instructions and explanations for your decisions, too. Sit down with your family, explain who the executor’s going to be, and why, along with what the will says. It’s also not a bad idea to have an initial reading of the will while you’re still alive. This communicates your wishes personally and takes some of the pressure off of the executor. — Dave